As someone who has suffered from depression, I can relate to a lot of this.
Last weekend, I had a meltdown and the next morning I tried to capture some scattered impressions of it to share. I’ve purposely left this raw and unedited, the way it unspooled in my head, to give you a feel for how chaotic a meltdown can be. While meltdowns are different for everyone, this is how I experience them.
A meltdown can go one of two ways: explosion | implosion.
Everything flies outward. Words. Fists. Objects.
Have you ever seen a building implode? The charges go off somewhere deep inside and for a moment you swear nothing is going to happen and then seconds later–rubble and dust and a big gaping hole in the ground.
It feels like a rubber band pulled to the snapping point.
What I don’t want to hear:
- It’s okay.
- (It’s not.)
- You need to pull yourself together.
- (I will, when…
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